A passionate love affair is labeled a relationship and falls into
the deadly traps of expectation.
In the initial stages of that love affair you were drawn to the curiosities and differences of your lover; this creature you had known nothing of but were completely enamored with, this beautiful thing you could barely comprehend, but were drawn relentlessly towards. As time passed, you began to create a version of this love in your mind that involved all of the parts you liked and neglected all of the parts you didn’t. You began to see it as something that others didn’t. You became angry when reality didn’t parallel your fantasies. You became disheartened when that love began to fade. You felt lost when you laid down beside a familiar stranger and uttered words that had lost their meaning long before you thought to consider what they meant in the first place. Neither of you gave the other room to grow, because you didn’t want to risk the chance of the other growing in a direction that you might not follow.
For seven years we’ve bled for this.
For Prey for Sleep, for the Texas Metal Collective, for our fans, for our friends, and for each other. We’ve put everything on the line. We’ve had some of the most incredible experiences of our entire lives. We’ve played to packed houses and we’ve poured our hearts out to empty rooms. In those brief and fleeting moments when everything clicks, when you feel the music moving through you rather than coming from you, when you start to choke up as you’re screaming because you’re looking some kid in the eye as he’s singing along, when you remember what it felt like to be on the other side of the microphone- that’s when you begin to understand- it was never about record deals or fame or money or any of the other bullshit, it was always about this moment. It was always about the heartbreaking sincerity of a feeling that you can’t define. It was always about communicating with people in the most honest, raw, uninhibited manner you knew how. In the only way you knew how.
If the entire point is to be honest, then Prey for Sleep has to die.
One of the greatest challenges of being in a band is that this is not a love affair between one person and another, or even one person and an idea- it’s five people chasing what they believe to be the same ghost. But as with anything else in this world, perception is king. It took us a long time to see that we weren’t all on the same page. The ghost we were chasing had become something different to each one of us, and we were all running in different directions, growing more and more frustrated that we never ended up in the same place. Practices were shorter and less frequent, and started to feel like work. We rarely saw each other outside of shows or rehearsal. For quite some time there has been a dark cloud lingering over room 315, and it finally culminated in a decision that Dave Swanson, our drummer for the past seven years, and one of three remaining members from the original lineup- would no longer be a part of Prey for Sleep. What this also meant, was that Prey for Sleep was dead. Dave was such an integral part of our sound that it would be absolute fucking heresy to continue under the name that he helped to define. Rather than embarrass ourselves by attempting to keep something alive that we could no longer even define, and tarnish the memory of something we’ve given seven years of our lives to- something that countless people have given a part of themselves to- we decided to kill it. While we could take one approach, and spend the next couple of months mourning the loss of this idea we held so close, or trying to remember all of the names of the people we need to thank for having been a part of this, the remaining members have decided to handle it differently.
We have decided to honor the past,
to pay tribute to what we accomplished together and to this moment in our lives that Prey for Sleep will always represent… but we have also decided to move forward. We will forever be chasing those moments that make us realize we’re in the right place. We will forever be evolving, shedding skin. We will embrace the opportunity to write whatever the fuck we want- to be whoever the fuck we want- to do whatever the fuck we feel. We will cast aside the shackles of expectation and embrace music as we did in the beginning – a creature we know nothing of but are completely enamored with, a beautiful thing we can barely comprehend but are drawn relentlessly towards. I won’t bite my tongue for fear of backlash, we won’t structure our songs in hopes of success, we won’t commit to anything merely for the sake of commitment.
This isn’t the final chapter.
This isn’t a farewell letter. The intensity and passion Prey for Sleep came to be known for has only just begun to show it’s face. A moment can only last for so long before it becomes a mockery of itself. We held on as long as we could, and we loved every minute of it; but it’s time to embrace the changes we’ve been fighting. It’s time to move forward. Prey for Sleep gave me a confidence and a sense of purpose that I had never known before. It gave me a community to belong to, a second family to be a part of. It made me feel like I was a part of the heartbeat of this city for the first time. All of the love that we were given was not in vain; all of the handshakes, the hugs, the late night parties at our rehearsal space, the people we spent weeks in vans with, the tragedies and the triumphs we experienced through ourselves and through the bands we came to know as brothers, and the fans we came to know as friends. Every second of it has helped to define us as individuals and as musicians. We can’t thank you enough for caring about our music, and for sharing the past seven years with us. We will not let you down.
All of our love,
Death Will Tremble